Posh Walks Out On NBC: THE REAL TRUTH!

"It was my get out of jail free card, m'kay!?"


Sources at NBC, the network behind Posh's £10 million reality TV series she walked out on earlier today, say that all Vicki is doing is trying to save face in the midst of a pending PR disaster.


NBC executives are allegedly "very nervous" about the pending show, citing recent media coverage that is less than complimentary towards the ex-Spice Girl. They are worried the American public just won't like her. Additionally, all of her 'sleb friends are refusing to appear on camera with her, making each episode a bit, er... "dull".


Anticipating the reality projecting being dumped and shelved, Posh is using hen-pecked hubby, David Beckham's return match for England this week as an excuse to walk. A simple case of jumping before being pushed, we think.


By making out Venereal is doing it all for her man and family, she not only comes up smelling of roses but she avoids the public embarrassment of her carefully planned career launch stateside falling down around her.


We bet Jordan's laughing her sizable tits off at this. In contrast, she and pop-flop hubby, Peter Andre are doing rather well in the US.

Posh Quits LA!

"Screw you guys, I'm goin' home!"

White-trash done good, Victoria Beckham has sent shock waves through the production of her latest reality TV series by quitting for a return to Blighty.

Victoria, real name Venereal Buttox told producers that she would not miss hen-pecked hubby, David Beckham's triumphant return soccer match for England later this week.

VB got into a wrangle with producers of her multi-million pound reality show when they insisted she stay in LA this week to complete filming. This would mean missing David's first England match since he dramatically resigned as Captain and was then ditched from the squad.

The decision is set to cost the Queen WAG in excess of £10 million ($20 million).

A source says, "It's a real sacrifice for her as the TV series was a great launch-pad for her career over there. But there is absolutely no way she'd have sacrificed being there to spur him on... just to do a TV show - regardless of how much it would help her profile in the US."

"She told producers she was not going to miss David's England
"Outta my way! Queen B comin' thro!"


game and they seemed unwilling to compromise".

A spokeswoman for the self-loving pop flop added, "Victoria has had great fun filming the show. However, the schedule was incredibly tight and it is up to the network what happens next."

Well, maybe we at The Trash Heap... got her all wrong. Here we were thinking she is a completely self absorbed bi'atch, but it seems she's willing to put her under the thumb, and more successful husband first on occasion.

You stand by your man, girl!

Becks Is A Tight Wad!

"I'm all lubed up and ready to go!"



Football fitness, David Beckham has scoffed at claims he has spent a small fortune on his various hair styles over the years.



The multi-millionaire LA Galaxy soccer star is famed for his ever diversifying look, and has influenced almost every major male hairstyle in fashion over the last decade.

Hen-pecked Becks says, " "My friend does my haircuts. That's one thing that's been said over the years, that I've paid like five grand for a haircut. And I'm like: 'Seriously, my mate does it for free.'"


And don't we know it, Davey babes. Looking back over some of your, er..."styles" makes us realise that no professional hairdresser would ever put their name to them!















"Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on!"

Old Hag Slags Online Bloggers

"I've peaked and now life's just an never ending downward spiral."

Queen WAG and washed up pop-flop, Victoria Beckham has come out fighting against the celebrity bloggers.

VB (Venerial Buttoxs), recently expressed, "I think these people are pretty spineless, the way they hide behind pseudonames."

Er, it's "pseudonyms" you stupid bitch!

She continues, "They don't really know what's going on in anybody's lives. They're just sad people sat behind their computers."

While we can't disagree with the "sad people" bit, the rest is just stale jizz spewing from her overly collagened lips.

"Don't come too close with that flashlight. My face may melt!"

Vicky, luv, word of advice, print media is dieing. Without online celebrity bloggers you wouldn't have the fame and notoriety you so desperately cling to. If we don't talk about you, who will?

Oh, and while we're on the subject what the fuck is going on with that hair colour and those shoulder pads!? Eeeew!

Mind you, we're hardly surprised. We wrongly assumed it may take a while to get a bad pic of you, but hey, whaddaya know? We were wrong!

WAG Shocker: Coleen Makes Child Cry! (sort of)

"Ar, 'Ay-'ay! Caaaalm Down! Caaalm Down!"

Princess WAG, scouser Coleen McLoughlin has just been spotted by an avid The Trash Heap... reader in Manchester (UK), doing a bit of shopping of all things! *gasp!*


I know! We could hardly believe it either. Coleen. Shopping. Like that's a rare occurrence!

Our spy explained, "I saw her surrounded by a mob of minders and body guards. She's obviously not the girl-next-door she was, because there was a little girl wanting to get her autograph and one of Coleen's minders refused to let her through. The child began to cry."


While making children cry is a disgusting past time to be involved in, we were more dismayed at the choice of establishment Coleen was spotted in. This was certainly no high-end King Street boutique.

Our source continues, "She was in TopShop sifting through the end of line collection. She seemed really made up to have found a few things that she could squeeze into."
"Let's all go to the 5 & Dime!"


Well, we never had Coleen down as a diva refusing to sign autographs, especially for small children. We also never had her down as a low-budget gal. Sure, she advertises George for Wal-mart chain, ASDA, but we didn't for one minute believe she actually wears the stuff.

It just goes to show that you can take the girl out of the estate, but you can't take the estate out of the girl.


As for the child crying thing, we'll be generous. We know only too well it was the minder's fault. Our source added, "Coleen seemed oblivious to the child's screams. She couldn't really see beyond her own nose because she was so protected by her entourage."


Ignorant to the plight of a screaming child!?! Shopping in the bargain section of a bargain store!?! What has the world come to?


Maybe she needs to tap Wayne for some extra spends in future, and possibly she should start watching Jeremy Kyle a bit more. You know, so she can up her empathy skills a little.