Winehouse Quits Music?!?

"Screw you guys, I'm goin' home too!"


Mega talented soul singer, Amy Winehouse today revealed she has plans to quit the music biz.....for motherhood!!!

The alcohol and drug loving singer said, "I don't want to be ungrateful. I know I'm talented, but I wasn't put here to sing. I was put here to be a wife and a mom and look after my family."

Was she fucked off her face at the time? Amy, love you were put here to sing the blues! You are the blues! How can you even consider quitting? Can't you do both music and motherhood!?
"I wanna have your babies."

Amy continues, "I'm a caretaker and I want to enjoy myself and spend time with my husband... Blake and I didn't get to spend any time together for a long time."

We fear the influence of luuuurve is smiting her blues mentality and maybe clogging her creative juices. Amy wed long term partner, Blake Fielder-Civil in a Miami ceremony earlier this month.

If this news wasn't bad enough, Amy goes on to undersell her talent even further by saying, "I've done a couple of albums I'm really proud of and that's about it".

*Gasp!*

Well, we at The Trash Heap... are flabbergasted. It seems everyone's quitting something this week. If it ain't LA, it's music and if it ain't music it's drugs and alcohol. If things carry on like this there will be nothing to write about! *sniff!*

Ozzy's Gender Confusion

"Where the fuck am I, maaaan?"

Bless Ozzy Osbourne. We always knew he was two sheets to the wind and then some..., but he's excelled himself recently.

Upon hearing of wife, Sharon's new co-host, Dannii Minogue on this years up and coming X-factor, Ozzy proclaimed, "Danny? I've never heard of him. Is he Kylie's Dad?"

Aaaaw, well no Ozzy he's not Kylie's Dad. He is in fact a she and is Kylie's lil' sis, spelt D-a-n-n-i-i!

We miss Ozzy and his fly on the wall family documentary series. I say bring it back!

(lft)"Dannii Minogue: She-male?"

Kelly To Torture Music Lovers (again!)

"Shut up, you douche bags!"

Oh shit! We're trembling in our boots. Crack open the ear plugs people, Kelly Osbourne is making yet another, er, ... "musical" comeback!

"I have more song ideas, and it won't be long", threatens 'ar Kel.

Frankly honey, you barely make the grade presenting Project Catwalk (UK). Don't believe me? Check out the website link here. The show producers haven't even replaced Liz Hurley's image with your own. That's how "good" you are , luv.

Give it up, Kel. Retire. You have the money. Just go quietly. Pleeeeeeaaaase!

Beth Ditto's Unlikely Pair(ing)

"I fucking love apples, I do."

Beth Ditto, lead singer of punk band Gossip has not only revealed her birthday suit to this week's NME, but also her love of model (and full time skank-bag) Kate Moss.

Ditto, who poses fully nude on the cover of the latest NME edition professes that Moss is, "amazing".

Beth said, "Kate is amazing. I spent one night talking to her and she just said the most amazing things about bodies. At first I didn't think I was going to like her, but she just turned up to one of our shows and said, 'Do you know what I hate, Beth? I hate it when people tell my big girlfriends, 'You have a beautiful face...' ....That's a really radical concept," concludes Ditto.

We at The Trash Heap.... *heart* Beth Ditto, but we can't help but feel she's selling herself a little short, and over egging the pudding as far as Moss is concerned. To me, Kate Moss making the kind of statement she did just smacks of a ploy to get the Gossip singer on side. After all, Kate is a veteran of the most shallow, fickle industry in the world; fashion. Surely she knows how to talk the talk when she wants someone on side?

After all, you'd never want to make an enemy of Beth Ditto.

Evening Worship At The Temple Of Tori

"I'm Not Crazy....I'm Fucking Bonkers!"



Everyone's favorite piano playing nerd kicked off her world tour this Monday. Tori Amos takes in 30 date tour with new material from her latest album, "American Doll Posse".



Once she completes the tour towards the end of July, she then embarks on a
"Nicola from Girls Aloud was keen for credibility"

series of Festivals. As of yet, there are no UK Festivals announced for which she is due to appear.



"American Doll Posse" is Amos' 9th studio album, and certainly her most commercially accessible since the 1998 release, "From The Choirgirl Hotel". The concept for the album sees Tori take on five distinctly individual personalities, each with her own name, beliefs and characteristics. As a unit they make up the whole person Amos is. They can also stand alone, apart from her.



She explains, "What I'm trying to tell other women is they have their own version of the compartmentalised feminine which may have been repressed in each one of them. For many years I have been an image; that isn’t necessarily who I am completely. I have made certain choices and that doesn’t mean that those choices are the whole story. I think these women are showing me that I have not explored honest extensions of the self who are now as real as the redhead."



"Now I live in Cornwall, I gorge on clotted cream!"

Tori's been known as a kooky kinda gal since she hit our consciousness back in 1992 with her second, and multi platinum selling album, "Little Earthquakes". Since then she's gone on to sell nearly 17 million albums worldwide and has an army of loyal, adoring fans, me being one of them.



Folk often write Tori off as a feminist loon, but all I can say to that is your Mother's must suck cocks in Hell and you have absolutely no fucking idea what you're talking about.



For more info on Tori and her tour, click here























"I'm mad, I am. It's true. I'm simply craaa-zeee!"

Lauren Hill Releases New Song (and it's brilliant!!!)

"I Lost Myself, Don't 'Cha Know!"



Ex-Fugees front woman and internationally successful solo artist, Lauren Hill has finally returned with a new song.


"Loose Myself" features on the soundtrack to new Columbia Pictures animation, "Surf's Up". The film is scheduled for release on the 8th June in the US.



Loza has shunned the lime light since her 18 million selling album, "The Miseducation of Lauren Hill". She became exceptionally introspective, choosing to no longer do interviews, watch TV and even abandoned listening to music. Instead, Hill began exploring other avenues of creativity, including writing poetry.


She recently announced a world tour for 2007, whereby she will visit 8 countries including the UK and, obviously the US.


Loza has a new album slated for release in early 2008. As of yet it is untitled, but rumours speculate it has the working title of "Call Me Ms. Hill". Further rumours suggest the album was pushed back by Columbia Records because they felt it wasn't commercial sounding.


Fans petitioned Columbia Records in 2006, demanding the new album be released. As a response to that, speculation suggests Hill has parted ways with Columbia Records and is looking to release the album via a new record label.


You go, Lauren! I've missed you so much these (almost) 10 years!


Check out the new single here, or click on the post title.

Rufus Wainwright Loves...er, Rufus Wainwright

"I Touch Myself, I Want You To Love Me"

Singer/songwriter and piano maestro extraordinaire, Rufus Wainwright ain't the bashful type. Oh no sirree. In an interview published in today's Independent, the prolific performer expressed an ego big enough to put the likes of Madge, JLo and any other A-League Diva to shame.

"The thing is...is that I like to tell the truth - in ev-er-y-thing", drawls the New York based songster. "And the truth of the matter is, I really am extremely good at what I do."

Wow! If he's referring to not yet having broken the mainstream and garnered a hit, he's spot on. "What? Should I be falsely modest and pretend that, actually, I'm not that great? No, no. For me that would never work. I am great and that's all there is to it."

Nice.

Having seen Mr. Wainwright in concert a couple of times I can confirm that he really is an exceptional musician. That said, note to Rufus: no one likes a big head my friend. Drop the 'tude. You may endear yourself more to potential record buyers, and lord knows you need the sales!

Music Review

Swing Your Pants!
New UK Single Releases w.c. 28th May, 2007



LCD Soundsystem, "All My Friends" (click for video)


If you've been unfortunate enough to have missed the boat with LCD Soundsystem, then jump in the water, swim like a maniac and catch it up. This latest single from their current album, Sounds Of Silver is not even one of the best songs on the disc. However, that doesn't make this song crap. Reminiscent of the underground 80's punk-rock scene, "All My Friends" could easily show Arcade Fire a thing or two. Check out the video. It's a Monster Mash! *Mwhahahahaha!*
8/10


Scissor Sisters, "Kiss You Off" (click for video)


Hated this song when I first heard it. On second listen it has major dance floor smash stamped all over it. A familiar 70's disco bass line and riff are the foundations to this indie stomper. It's also great to finally hear Ana Matronic's vocals taking more of a lead as opposed to backing up Jake's. She looks amazing in the video, but for me the big drool comes in the form of Baby Daddy. Warra hung 'o' spunk that man is! *Cough*, anyhow, back to the song.... Suitably laden with layers of meaning, "Kiss You Off" ain't just about dumping your current squeeze if you know what I mean? If you don't know what I mean then listen to the song more closely and think about the last time you were kissed in the Southern Hemisphere.
7/10


CSS, "Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above" (click for video)



Brazillian posses, CSS urge us all to make love while listening to death from above. Well, I get the sex part but they've lost me on the death from above thingy. Anyhoo, not to worry as this song very nearly stole Single Of The Week crown from Mr. Reverened and his Makers. The track is reminiscent of those heady Pizzicato Five days meets early Saint Etienne. Call me a nostalgic fool, but I'm a sucker for the 90's underground music scene and that's what makes "Let's Make Love..." such a cool song in my ears. Hooked by an infectious 70's bass line far removed from the Scissor Sister's ilk, but more 70's US TV show you'll find yourself wigglin' your fat ass (or skinny one depending on your eatting disorder) around the living room as you profess to make love while listening to death from above. You won't understand what the fuck the song's about, but you won't care either.
9/10


SINGLE OF THE WEEK


Reverend And The Makers, "Heavyweight Champion Of The World" (click for video)



Reverened, Sheffield born Jon McClure and his Makers raise the musical bar for all to marvell at with this floor stomper of an Indie smash. Reminiscent of The Charlatans in the late 90's, "Heavyweight..." documents the story of a man crushed by life. The pressure to get a job, get a wife, have kids etc... All sounds familiar pat, but the story is from the bitter point of view of a man in the autumnal years of his life. "I could've been a someone..." is the mantra, and the lesson to all who listen is not to allow life to pass you by. Uplifting throughout, dripping in irony, this is a rye social commentary on those empty souls you sometimes see propping up the bar in your local. Buy this single. It will change your life!
10/10


BARGAIN BASEMENT OF THE WEEK


The Zimmers, "My Generation" (click for video)


Oh. My. God! You will either love or hate this. I hate it. Someone thought it a good idea to gather a bunch of senior citizens to form a band and re-record The Who classic, "My Generation". In fact, that someone is documentary maker, Tim Samuels. He travelled the UK investigating feelings of isolation and imprisonment by the country's elderly. Samuels recruited pensioners stuck in institutions or tennaments for his BBC film, Power To The People. The culmination of work is this record. While this is a lovely story and such, the song's shit. It's nothing but a gimmick and I for one would like to know where the royalties for this record are going (except for The Who's pockets!). If you like novelty records this is for you. If you don't, turn off, tune in and drop out.
4/10

Happy Birthday Kylie! The Future Holds....

Happy 39th Birthday, 'ar Kylie!

Bless. We at The Trash Heap... love La Kylie, and it is our great pleasure to wish the eternal Princess of Pop a very happy and healthy 39th Birthday today!

After a 2 year breast cancer battle, today is a day I bet Kylie wondered if she would ever see. Needless to say, she's a picture of health and well on the road to full recovery.

So, what does the future hold for Ms. Minogue (will she ever become a "Mrs", or is she destined to be a Spinster Of This Parish forever!?!)

Recent spies have revealed Kylie's future plans in what can only be described as either a big gaffe, or a marvellous PR exercise on behalf of Kylie's best friend and creative director, Will Baker. Spotted leaving a Soho eattery, Mister Baker held an envelope with what looked like a "To Do" list scrawled on it. Was it his own? Was it 'eck! It was Kylie's of course. The highly acclaimed stylist only went and held the flippin' list in full view of the paps (check out the pic top right).

The Trash Heap casted its beady eyes over the document and we were rather chuffed and excited with what we read. Check it out....

• Mags (upcoming magazine articles/shoots & PR)


• Tour next year (rumours of a US tour - how exciting! Finally the Yanks get the full Kylie Experience!)


• Coty perfume (follow up fragrance to last year's # 1 selling and award winning 'Darling')


• Songs (from "W. D.") to Parkinson (performing a couple of tracks from the new album on an upcoming Parkinson appearance... album appears to be titled "White Diamond", or could just be a working title)


• White Diamond promo (This is the upcoming fly on the wall documentary of Kylie's cancer recovery leading up to the Showgirl: Homecoming Tour. Possibility of film festivals/releases/downloads?)


• Acting coach's number (Kylie swotting up for that film musical she's mentioned, or could it be her forthcoming role in the Christmas Day episode of Doctor Who?)


• When Dr Who script arriving? Russell's number (as mentioned earlier - the Xmas Day ep. Russell as in Russell T. Davis, the Head Writer for Dr. Who)

How exciting! Not only do we bring you all of this Kylie news, but also some goss about the forthcoming Kylie album due out later this year (God willing!).

We have it on good authority that the two Boy George tracks he penned for her, and which she has recorded will definitely not make the final album cut. *Gasp!* Is this her revenge for him designing her that Gaaaaaawd Awful encore outfit for the Homecoming Tour!? Hmmmm, maybe not. While Kylie and EMI feel the songs are "not quite right", she is definitely keen to have him involved in the project in some capacity. Rumour has it that she's interested in recording a Culture Club track as a tribute to George. I dunno about you, but that sounds like a shit idea to me!

We're beginning to wonder what the Hell this up and coming album is going to sound like. Well, apparently La Kylie is interested in "meaningful" and "interesting" lyrics placed with commercial sounds. A source says, "Musically, the brief has been described as Fever meets Impossible Princess meets the Scissor Sisters and Mika. She’s going for a mix of harder dance sounds; some lighter camp, glittery numbers like White Diamond; and several songs specifically designed to showcase her voice. It will be a diverse album, but all held together by Kylie’s great pop sensibility.”

Phew! Well, that's a relief. For a moment there I was worried, what with the Culture Club cover and all that. Mind you, I think Mika is utter shit but so long as she doesn't end up riding his arse for some album sales I'll be happy. We'll be very interested to know how she intends to merge the dark, underproduced and edgy sounds of her critically acclaimed (but commercially dead) 1997 album, Impossible Princess with the 8+ million selling Fever album. Impossible Princess is a hidden gem for many a Kylie fan, and moreso for you part-timer fans too. If you haven't got it, check it out.

Anyhow, we here at The Trash Heap hope that wherever you are and whatever you're doing right now, Kylie you are having fun! Go girl!

Watch Lilly Murder Blondie!

Lilly Allen Kills Blondie (and not in a good way)!

Oh dear, oh dear! Love her or loathe her, this chick just murdered perhaps the most famous Blondie song ever. If that's not bad enough, Lil' only went and did it with Blondie as her backing band and the fabulous Debbie Harry by her side to boot!

Click on the post Title or the link below to watch this travesty of travesties.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3U_sVIIJqs