Posh Walks Out On NBC: THE REAL TRUTH!

"It was my get out of jail free card, m'kay!?"


Sources at NBC, the network behind Posh's £10 million reality TV series she walked out on earlier today, say that all Vicki is doing is trying to save face in the midst of a pending PR disaster.


NBC executives are allegedly "very nervous" about the pending show, citing recent media coverage that is less than complimentary towards the ex-Spice Girl. They are worried the American public just won't like her. Additionally, all of her 'sleb friends are refusing to appear on camera with her, making each episode a bit, er... "dull".


Anticipating the reality projecting being dumped and shelved, Posh is using hen-pecked hubby, David Beckham's return match for England this week as an excuse to walk. A simple case of jumping before being pushed, we think.


By making out Venereal is doing it all for her man and family, she not only comes up smelling of roses but she avoids the public embarrassment of her carefully planned career launch stateside falling down around her.


We bet Jordan's laughing her sizable tits off at this. In contrast, she and pop-flop hubby, Peter Andre are doing rather well in the US.

Davina Quits Big Bro'!

"Screw you guys, I'm....oh, you get the gist!"


Big Brother stalwart, Davina McCall is set to quit her long running stint as Big Brother host after the current series 8 ends.


A source close to Davina says, "Davina loves doing Big Brother but she knows when enough is enough. She enjoys the show and is very fond of everyone she works with but wants to spread her wings and go on to something different. She is worried about getting pigeonholed so has made the hard decision to walk out."


Judging by Davina's past attempts at diversifying, this could be a catastrophic decision on her part. Aside from the hugely successful, but now defunct dating show, Streetmate, Davina has had minimal success with other projects.


Only last year, her BBC 1 chat show, Davina was slated by critics and audiences alike. She was the highest paid TV star that year, with her Big Brother deal and her one off fee of £500, 000 from the BBC for just 8 episodes of the flop-talk show. It caused a scandal amongst license fee payers who felt their taxes were not being put to good use.


Despite her resignation from Big Brother, Channel 4 executives have vowed the show will go on. The channel has a 3 year deal with production company Endemol to ensure the reality series continues on their network. The deal is reputed to be worth £180 million.

Davina has hosted Big Brother in the UK since its first series back in 1999. She has become the synonymous face of the programme. We at The Trash Heap... seriously doubt the programme will be as good without her.

Good luck Davina, but I suspect you'll go crawling back to Ch4 if you past ventures are anything to go by.



My, my, 1st of June seems to be shaping up as the day everyone quits something!

Courtney Cox Quits Surgery!

"Screw you guys, I'm not goin' home because I already am home. But, I am not chopping myself up!" (hmm, soundbitey!)

Former Friends star, Courtney Cox Arquette has been told by loser hubby, David to quit any thoughts of plastic surgery.

Cox, 42 spawned a daughter, Coco (what, the clown?) in 2004. Since then she feels she's never managed to regain her pre-preggers figure.

"I have a permanent baby belly", says Cox. "I have issues with getting older too. I obsess over the changes. David has a huge problem with surgery, but I don't."

David's "issues" with the plastic

"I hate my body! *Whinge* *Moan* *Whinge*"

fantastic mean that he's allegedly banned her from even having a consult on the matter. Sources close to the couple report that the two are in total lock down over the issue. Courtney really wants a tummy tuck, but David has threatened it will have dyer consequences for their relationship if she does.

Ooooo! Get him.

Courtney is currently riding high in the US with her executive produced drama, Dirt in which she plays an editor of a gossip magazine. The show has just been recommissioned for a 2nd series after having been a ratings hit with American viewers. We sure hope Ch4 picks it up over here in the UK.

Posh Quits LA!

"Screw you guys, I'm goin' home!"

White-trash done good, Victoria Beckham has sent shock waves through the production of her latest reality TV series by quitting for a return to Blighty.

Victoria, real name Venereal Buttox told producers that she would not miss hen-pecked hubby, David Beckham's triumphant return soccer match for England later this week.

VB got into a wrangle with producers of her multi-million pound reality show when they insisted she stay in LA this week to complete filming. This would mean missing David's first England match since he dramatically resigned as Captain and was then ditched from the squad.

The decision is set to cost the Queen WAG in excess of £10 million ($20 million).

A source says, "It's a real sacrifice for her as the TV series was a great launch-pad for her career over there. But there is absolutely no way she'd have sacrificed being there to spur him on... just to do a TV show - regardless of how much it would help her profile in the US."

"She told producers she was not going to miss David's England
"Outta my way! Queen B comin' thro!"


game and they seemed unwilling to compromise".

A spokeswoman for the self-loving pop flop added, "Victoria has had great fun filming the show. However, the schedule was incredibly tight and it is up to the network what happens next."

Well, maybe we at The Trash Heap... got her all wrong. Here we were thinking she is a completely self absorbed bi'atch, but it seems she's willing to put her under the thumb, and more successful husband first on occasion.

You stand by your man, girl!

Fuck Off, Jerry Hall!

"I'm so desperate. Look, here's my tit!"

Fame hungry ex-supermodel, Janice Dickinson has lashed out at former catwalk rival, Jerry Hall.

In what appears to be a re-fuelling of an old fight she had with Hall back in the 70's (when she was like, 39 or something), Dickinson said, "Jerry hated me, but she can fuck off and die."

Quite.

The America's Next Top Model judge continued, "No one scares me. I tossed Mick out after eight months because I didn't want to move to London. It was my choice, not a matter of him choosing Jerry over me."

Well, no one may scary you Jan, darling, but you scare us! After watching you make a total arse out of yourself the other week on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross, and then hoikin' your skirt to flash everyone your scraggy, saggy pins (I vommed at the time), we sure hope you don't come back for a visit to Blighty anytime soon.




We love Jerry Hall. She isn't some classless old skank like you. You're everything we hate about America; arrogant, loud, brash, classless, common as muck and generally just really dumb.



Fuck off and die, Janice Dickinson!









"I'm a beautiful person."

Young Girl Divorces Father Figure

"Keep your money, you Ginger Whinger!"

Fave couple Chris Evans and Billie Piper have finally been granted a divorce, 3 years after having separated.

Popular actress, Piper (25) was 17 years Evans' junior when they first wed.

Media mogul, Evans famously seduced Piper by buying her a Ferrari filled with red rose petals, despite the fact that she could not drive at the time.

The couple met on Evans' now defunct show, TFI Friday in 2001 and married only 5 months later in Vegas at a whopping cost of just £250.

Many sceptics believed their marriage would fail (and they were right!!!), but it has been clear to see these two had a very good relationship up until their separation in 2004. Even now, Chris and Billie are seen to be very close friends.

Billie feels so much affection for her estranged hubby that she's even declare she won't pursue a claim for any money or possessions during their marriage.

Evans is thought to be worth almost £100 million, but Billie was never in it for the money. We suspect she needed a father figure at the time, but hey, who knows!?

Piper is a two times BAFTA award winning actress, and is most famous for her role as Rose Tyler in Doctor Who alongside Christopher Eccleston and now David Tennant. Piper left the series last year in an emotional storyline. She has since gone on to star in acclaimed dramas, "Jane Austin's 'Mansfield Park'" and the Phillip Pullman adaptation, "The Ruby In The Smoke".

Evans is currently riding high with his popular BBC Radio 2 show for which he has won 2 Sony Awards, but hey, let's face it - he hardly needs the work with the dosh he's got in the bank.

We at The Trash Heap... wish Billie and Chris all the best for their future and hope they have a speedy divorce.