Reasons To Hate Jeremy Kyle (like we really need any!)

"Let me sperminate you with my evil seed!"


I don't now about you, but I just can't fucking stand that obnoxious twat, Jeremy Kyle !


If you're not sold on the notion that Jeremy is in fact the Anti-Christ, and it transpires you're one of his dumb arsed followers (student, dole bludger, generally retarded), then allow me to present the case for the prosecution....

1. Shouting "That's a FACT!" at the end of every fucking sentence, even when the context makes no sense. "Why don't you prove to her you're a good father? That's a FACT!" No, Jeremy, it isn't. It's a question you fuckwit! Jeremy, you're a cunt. FACT!


"I want to eat your penis!"


2. Referring to children as "it". "Are you going to start letting it see its father?", while at the same time criticising his guests if they do the same. You fucking peen, Jeremy! Jeremy, you're a cunt. FACT!


3. Casting all his guests into stereotypical roles 1 second after they've set foot on the stage. "So, are you the Voice Of Reason?" or, "I can tell you're a bit of a Cheeky Chappie", or "You seem like a really Nice Bloke" and then persisting in sticking to those first impressions even if faced with irrefutable evidence to the contrary. Jeremy, you're a cunt! FACT!


4. Grabbing every opportunity to tell stories which he believes show him in a positive light. "I used to drive all night to see my kids without any sleep", yet he never stops to think that he comes out of it rather badly. I mean, what about all the other motorists on the road whose lives were endangered by his sleep-deprived driving? Jeremy, you're cunt! FACT!


5. Constantly telling wife-batterers how "brave" they are for "coming on the show and holding their hand up to what they've done!" Jeremy, you're a cunt! FACT!


Conclusion: Jeremy Kylie is a cunt. That's a FACT!